Theoretically Speaking
by Verboten Byacolate
Summary: Pertaining to the matter of Naruto's love life, Jiraiya decidedly concludes that Sakura would be much more fitting. [NaruHina. Did I fool you?]


_A/N_; NARUTO!! MEIN DARLING!! HAPPY FRIGGIN' BIRTHDAY!! I've been in preparation for this wonderful day for a looong time.  
_Disclaimer_; I do not own Naruto... -squirms furiously- BUT I WANT HIS BODY. ((Don't kill me, fangirls!))  
_Warning_ Slight spoilers, but everyone should be caught up with the manga anyway. If not, you'd better check out the Naruto Manga Returns site real quick.  
_Edit_; Mistakes really piss me off, you know? (1-26-08)

**Theoretically Speaking**

"Sakura would've been more fitting."

Tsunade glanced up from her (considerable amount of) paperwork, feigning ignorance when she was completely aware of the meaning behind his words. "What are you talking about, Jiraiya?"

The toad sannin's ever-aging face showed a mixture of subtle humor and sort of light melancholy that only came with one subject. "For Naruto, Sakura would've been more fitting," he said, folding his arms across his chest and leaning against her window. (_How many times had it been broken in her run a Hokage...? And how many times were on account of their center of topic?_) She sighed, pushing herself out of her worn old chair and joining him at the window. She was not surprised at the sight of a bright orange blob emerged from the locally-adored Ichiraku ramen shop. Neither commented as the smudge paused in midstep, diving back in through the curtains and pulling out a soft lavender form with him.

They watched as the two clashed before letting their eyes adjust, and slowly but surely, _clash_ turned to _meld_. Tsunade allowed herself to smile.

Her old teammate, however, was immersed in quiet speculation, scrutinizing the two's every move. The Godaime chuckled. "Sakura would've been more fitting, you say?" she asked good-naturedly, placing her fingertips on the cool glass of the window. "You're not making any sense, as usual."

He turned his gaze onto her grinning face. "Eh?" Her smile widened at his elaborate reply.

"Your words don't make any sense," she repeated, her grin becoming drained of its teasing air and taking on a more serene one. "They look pretty fitting to me."

He snorted. "You know I was refering to his resemblance to Minato."

Tsunade shook her head. "I don't know much about your students, other than the praising drivel you always used to spout. I didn't watch them grow up and fall, in neither love nor battle." She shook her head once more. "Explain to me your view of 'fitting.'"

Jiraiya's eyes moved back out the window toward the boisterous orange that danced in choppy circles around the dark, meek lavender. So wrong. So odd. So... "Different," he mumbled. "Sakura is so like Kushina was. It... it would have been..."

"Fitting," Tsunade said sardonically, sliding back into her chair and picking up a pen. She gifted him with a light kick to the shins. "Hey," she admonished. Her tone was back to its normal, serious self. Her grin, however, did not falter. "Just because you find tradition so important doesn't mean they all will. I mean, look at us." She gestured from him to to herself with the pen. "Wouldn't you say that it'd be more 'fitting' for _you_ to be sitting here?" The pen made a hollow tap-tap on her chair. She winked. "Kushina was from Whirlpool. An odd choice for a Leaf shinobi, eh? Not very... 'fitting?'"

And Jiraiya couldn't help it anymore.

He smiled.

"Yeah, yeah, Mune. I hear ya." He pushed himself from the wall, patting her head on his way to the door.

"Where are you going?" she asked, rubbing disdainfully at his place of contact. He looked back over his shoulder and grinned.

"That Hinata girl is a little like you," he said, hands forming a cupping motion about five inches from his chest. "That poor boy'll need tips on how to handle you double-d's!" he cackled, slipping out the door fast enough to dodge the chair hurled at his face.

_**- Fin -**_

**I'm not sure if this is off-topic or not but I just have a little something for those who didn't believe that Yondaime was Naruto's father before the latest chapters were distributed:  
HAHAHAHA_HA_!! IN YOUR _FACE_!!  
And again, happy birthday, Naruto-chan! I would give you my heart, but you'd probably be grossed out by all of the blood.  
-Bya  
P.S.-- OMG, Kushina was from Whirlpool, right?! If not, I'll edit it. **


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